Dear ED,
I’m so tired of you dragging me down. I will be free of you. I will stop listening to you.
You are hateful, and you hurt me. You say ugly things and try to make me feel less than human.
I am not you, but we have been together for a very long [...]

The pill dispensor gave me a version of Burns Depression Checklist. I felt like I was halfway between 2 of the ratings, go I gave myself a rating of 1/2. She’s had 100s of people fill them out, and I’m the only one who has ever rated herself or himself with a 1/2. [...]

Last weekend, we visited an old friend. She looked awful. She could barely walk. She’d lost a lot of weight, and her arms and face had many scabs on them. I snooped in her kitchen and discovered that she was on a liquid diet again. The last time she was [...]

The last week or so has been brutal for a number of reasons. However, part of the agony was self-inflicted. I started a new exercise routine and did it 2 days in a row. I was so sore that I could barely walk.
One of the thought distortions common in [...]

Sushi for lunch. Yum!
Chili spicy hot. Don’t like.
Want wasabi hot instead.

I suffer from exercise resistance. I’m sure a lot of people share my ambivalence about exercise, and that includes both people who suffer with ED and people who don’t. Since I do have ED whispering to me, trying to get me down, and I fall for it, the whole concept of exercise is [...]

So today was Body Image Day at group. We do body image on the last Tuesday of every month, and food logs on the first Tuesday. We talked about mirrors. Mirrors are the enemy of those afflicted with an eating disorder. I suppose that no one really sees what she [...]

I’m sad. Jack, Eina, and Vivian are flying back to New Zealand.
I had a really tough day. I waffle between really wanting to eat crap and really wanting to not eat and having an upset stomach. Oh, that’s between the crying bouts. I was able to get the [...]

So today, I went to group and work, and took the kids to the dentist instead of going into my parents house.
It was really hard last night to say to Eina that I wasn’t coming in on Tuesday. When I say goodbye every evening, she looks at me and says, “You are [...]

Remeber when I filled out the Risky Situation Worksheet?
Well, today is the day! So far so good. It’s 9:15.
I am not on schedule. I forgot to take into account how late we were going to stay up last night. It was Parents’ Night Out at daycare. Robert & I [...]