Neefer Sews, Crochets, Crafts, Swims, and Blathers about Kids and Her Stuggles with an Eating Disorder

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Saying Good-Bye

June 30th, 2009 at 7:44 pm » Comments (0)

Dear ED,
I’m so tired of you dragging me down. I will be free of you. I will stop listening to you.
You are hateful, and you hurt me. You say ugly things and try to make me feel less than human.
I am not you, but we have been together for a very long [...]



I’m unique.

June 29th, 2009 at 5:32 pm » Comments (0)

The pill dispensor gave me a version of Burns Depression Checklist. I felt like I was halfway between 2 of the ratings, go I gave myself a rating of 1/2. She’s had 100s of people fill them out, and I’m the only one who has ever rated herself or himself with a 1/2. [...]



Tuesday Update

June 16th, 2009 at 6:17 pm » Comments (0)

Last weekend, we visited an old friend. She looked awful. She could barely walk. She’d lost a lot of weight, and her arms and face had many scabs on them. I snooped in her kitchen and discovered that she was on a liquid diet again. The last time she was [...]



So what’s up?

June 3rd, 2009 at 7:36 pm » Comments (0)

The last week or so has been brutal for a number of reasons. However, part of the agony was self-inflicted. I started a new exercise routine and did it 2 days in a row. I was so sore that I could barely walk.
One of the thought distortions common in [...]



Sushi Haiku

May 27th, 2009 at 9:28 am » Comments (0)

Sushi for lunch. Yum!
Chili spicy hot. Don’t like.
Want wasabi hot instead.



Semantics

February 12th, 2009 at 7:11 pm » Comments (0)

I suffer from exercise resistance. I’m sure a lot of people share my ambivalence about exercise, and that includes both people who suffer with ED and people who don’t. Since I do have ED whispering to me, trying to get me down, and I fall for it, the whole concept of exercise is [...]



Why do I need to be beautiful?

January 27th, 2009 at 10:38 pm » Comments (0)

So today was Body Image Day at group. We do body image on the last Tuesday of every month, and food logs on the first Tuesday. We talked about mirrors. Mirrors are the enemy of those afflicted with an eating disorder. I suppose that no one really sees what she [...]



Sad.

January 20th, 2009 at 10:42 pm » Comments (0)

I’m sad. Jack, Eina, and Vivian are flying back to New Zealand.
I had a really tough day. I waffle between really wanting to eat crap and really wanting to not eat and having an upset stomach. Oh, that’s between the crying bouts. I was able to get the [...]



Update

December 16th, 2008 at 9:32 pm » Comments (1)

So today, I went to group and work, and took the kids to the dentist instead of going into my parents house.
It was really hard last night to say to Eina that I wasn’t coming in on Tuesday. When I say goodbye every evening, she looks at me and says, “You are [...]



Risky Situation: Family Gone = BINGE

November 22nd, 2008 at 10:24 am » Comments (0)

Remeber when I filled out the Risky Situation Worksheet?
Well, today is the day! So far so good. It’s 9:15.
I am not on schedule. I forgot to take into account how late we were going to stay up last night. It was Parents’ Night Out at daycare. Robert & I [...]



    • When there's more sick ones than well ones, by golly the sick ones will lock the well ones up. -Eric F. Goldman [Crucial Decade]
  • ED Goals

    Play to Learn
    August 4, 2009
    • Food Logs every day
    • Exercise (aerobic) 4x/week
    • Reasons to get well; be specific
    • Food Logs, every day
    • Plan next meal when eating current meal.

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