Recently, while discussing the fat shaming aspect of Disney’s Habit Heroes, a friend asked if her saying “You are what you eat.” would shame me. The simple answer is yes. I do have an eating disorder, after all. There is nothing that anyone can say, whether or not it is directed at me, about food, [...]

I’m feeling better. I think I’m just feeling better, but it helped that DH gave me a great big hug when he came home and said he missed me. Later I told him that I really like that, and he said he would do it more often. I had a hard working weekend. On Saturday, [...]

I really should do a thought record, but the idea exhausts me. Depression, what? Anyway, I met this guy who paid a lot of attention to me at a party. I’d known him for a while, several parties, but he was all over me at that specific party. So, there was this Halloween party, and [...]

Yesterday started fine. Chunguita and I were home alone, so we slept into 8:30. Chunguita went off to help at an open house at her daycare, and I stayed home, cleaned the kitchen, picked up poop, and exercised. I’d started the day with a sore throat. Exercising was so hard. And I felt worse afterwards. [...]

I added a new form to the Eating Disorder Worksheets page. This one offers 10 steps to help you realize your goals. To be achievable, goals must be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timebound (SMART). Steps for Goal Setting

One of the women in group died. I remember her smiling when I came in to the room. That felt so good, a wonderful gift. She had anorexia. She had come home from college and came to group for the rest of the spring semester and summer. In the fall, she went back to school. [...]

No purging stable weight for 2+ years decrease in depression Better understanding of MY nutrition needs Mostly follow food plan Can recognize distorted thinking and stop it Can fight the urge to apply anything anyone says or does as a negative criticism of me (Example: Irene says she exercised, therefore Jennifer is a loser for [...]

Dear ED, I’m so tired of you dragging me down. I will be free of you. I will stop listening to you. You are hateful, and you hurt me. You say ugly things and try to make me feel less than human. I am not you, but we have been together for a very long [...]

The pill dispensor gave me a version of Burns Depression Checklist. I felt like I was halfway between 2 of the ratings, go I gave myself a rating of 1/2. She’s had 100s of people fill them out, and I’m the only one who has ever rated herself or himself with a 1/2.

Last weekend, we visited an old friend. She looked awful. She could barely walk. She’d lost a lot of weight, and her arms and face had many scabs on them. I snooped in her kitchen and discovered that she was on a liquid diet again. The last time she was on a liquid diet, she [...]