Neefer Sews, Crochets, Crafts, Swims, and Blathers about Kids

Acorns to Oaktrees

July 24th, 2001 at 3:47 pm

Still Not Pregnant

I’m so bummed. We’ve been trying since January. I really got my hopes up this cycle because I had a nice temperature rise 10 days past ovulation. Unfortunately, yesterday, it fell, and, today, it fell more and I got my period.

I have to admit that last night while I was nursing Chunguita, I was thinking that I’d like to have more time with her as my only baby, and that I would like her to not be a baby anymore when we have the next one.

Last night, she was sitting in my lap nursing. I’d lean down and kiss her on the forehead. She’d make happy, nursing sounds and look up at me with those big brown eyes. I don’t want to give that up because my breasts are too tender, and I don’t want her to feel pushed out of her space by a new baby.

I’ve been thinking about what you-all said about the the difference between ~30 months and 3 years. I’m just concerned that if we wait for 6-10 months, then it will be a year again before Kaiser will talk to us about infertility. I’ll be 38. I want to be done having children by 40. I suppose I could lie to Kaiser about it.

DH and I have talked about adoption. DH would really like to adopt. I looked into adopting a baby from China. We decided against an American baby because of the unavailability of healthy babies. We first thought that we would adopt from Mexico or another Latin American country, but after doing some research, I think that China is a better option.

I have a couple of issues with adoption. First off, we need about $15,000 (USD) for a China adoption. DH is not capable of saving money. I can’t continue to save for college and retirement and come up with $15k in a couple of years.

The second issue is that I have 2 adopted siblings. I’m not sure that mixing adopted children and biological children is such a great idea. Altho in our case, we won’t be having babies after we adopt, and so maybe the big problems that my family had just won’t be an issue for us. Or maybe my family would have had similar problems even if my younger brother and I had never been born. It’s complicated. If we do adopt, I definitely want Chunguita to be older and to want to have a little sister or brother.

Sign me: Ambivalently yours,

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