Further away than the moon or Venus or Jupiter
and more beautiful

We got the autopsy results on Wednesday. The finding was undetermined. It’s what I expected. Still I’m upset. It’s almost like I was hoping they would say, “Sorry, big mistake. He’s alive, and here he is.” I was so upset.

Or maybe it was like my nose was being rubbed in it. “He’s dead; he’s dead. We don’t know why. And there is nothing you can do.”

I can’t sleep. … I don’t want to sleep? …

I want him back.