Neefer Sews, Crochets, Crafts, Swims, and Blathers about Kids

Acorns to Oaktrees

January 7th, 2002 at 4:46 pm


There are several things about “waiting until I get married” that
bother me.

My mother believes that men of her generation (WWII) got married at
young ages so that they could have regular sexual partners and that men
now wait for more meaningful relationships because they don’t have to
be married to have socially acceptable sexual relations. I think this
still happens today … occasionally.

It’s too simplistic a goal. I would much rather have Chunguita wait to
have sex until she is mature enough to discuss pregnancy prevention and
disease with her partner before she has sex with him (or her). My goal
for Chunguita is that she know her own mind and be strong enough to heed
her own mind, be in control of her own body and the situation that she
is in, as well as having the maturity to understand the consequences
and the courage and strength to discuss those consequences with her
partner before hand.

If she isn’t there when she gets married, she isn’t ready to have sex.

You would think that women who are getting married would be mature
enough to consider this as well as to consider what it means to be
legally tied to another person, but some of those girls who were in the
wedding newsgroups when I was getting married were not mature enough to
be getting married. having sex, or controlling their own money IMNSHO.

And a little more lightheartedly, after having been around the block a
few times, I think you should take your partner out for a test drive
before committing to him forever. I wouldn’t buy a car without
checking it out, and it’s a lot less painful to replace a car than it
is to replace a partner. Of course, I’m only on my second car. I’m on
my 8th sexual partner.

At some point in college, I started keeping condoms on my headboard,
and I always carried, at least, one in my purse. One of the partners
teased me about the ones on the headboard, and I dumped him for it. If
he couldn’t see the necessity of having easy and immediate access to
condoms, he wasn’t taking our sexual activity seriously enough.

Which reminds me of a funny story. When I moved in with DH, my
parents came out to help me move. I remember when Robert and my father
pulled the bed away from the headboard, they exposed several used
condoms. Robert was mortified, and I didn’t help matters when I said,
“I’m sure they aren’t all from you, honey; I haven’t moved the bed
since I moved in here.” My mother thought it was funny, and she was
glad to see that I was using condoms.

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