Neefer Sews, Crochets, Crafts, Swims, and Blathers about Kids and Her Stuggles with an Eating Disorder

Acorns to Oaktrees

I baked a cake.

Part of Neefer's adventure in Crafts
April '14

Pulguito requested an oreo cake for his birthday. I used a recipe from All Recipes. I may use the filling as frosting if I ever make another cake. The filling is tasty!

Oreo Cake

Category: Crafts Tags: , ,
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So how does an eating disorder protect someone?

Part of Neefer's adventure in Eating Disorder

One of the things that is counterintuitive about eating disorders is that they serve(d) a very real protective purpose for the sufferer. I say counterintuitive because healthy people usually can’t imagine doing something so hurtful to themselves, and the idea that these behaviors are protective is mind-boggling.

So, here’s an example. This happened to me, or I did this to myself, what?

Do you all remember when Diego died? (If you feel like a good cry, you can read the whole tragic story.) It was truly awful.

Back to the eating disorder:
A few days after Diego died, I was sitting on the couch with Diego’s mom, holding her while she cried. I think she was saying something, but I can’t remember because I was thinking about how much bigger my thighs were than hers. That thought lead to things like: I’m so lazy, Why don’t I exercise more?, I’m a fat pig, What is wrong with me to get so fat?, I know what to do, but I’m weak, I hate myself, and so on and so forth. Am I good at self flagellation or what?

Those thoughts consumed me, and while my head was spinning with those hurtful, self-esteem destroying thoughts, I didn’t have face what was happening in front of me. There was a time when those thoughts did protect me from something worse than those thoughts. And it was terrifically emotionally challenging to take care of my brother and SIL while they navigated those first few months of child-loss. But, you know what, I was up to it. I didn’t need that protection, and I didn’t want it.

I’m not just a grown up, I’m a mature adult. Those things that hurt me, that I needed protection from, they aren’t part of my life anymore, and I’m not vulnerable like a child. I have the maturity, wisdom, and experience to distance myself, I have skills and tools, I am learned, and I am able to use all of that stuff to heal.

It took a while for me to figure out that ED was stepping in to protect me that sad December day. I first examined what was going on in group the day after it happened. I certainly needed help coping, but I shared it with the group as something that I was ashamed of. I wanted to help, but I was off in eating-disorder-land beating myself up.

Years later, I used it as an example of “not being present” because of the eating disorder. Being present is the vogue thing right now, what?

And, just recently, I realized that it was a case of ED stepping in to protect me from something horrific.

It makes me kinda pessimistic that we can help young women and girls who probably do still need that protection. I mean, I don’t need it, but I’m still struggling with ED.

Category: Eating Disorder Tags: , ,

Burda 8110 Fitting Woes

Part of Neefer's adventure in Sewing
April '14

Actually, it’s not that bad. Or maybe it is. The problem is in the crotch curve. It’s just not right for me. I’ve got camel toe in front and a wedgie in back. Scooping out the crotch curve may help, but I need that circumferential fabric that would be lost in the scoop. And besides, how do you scoop when you have a fly.

Oh, and the back crotch rise is too high at the back waist.

Burda8110 shortsBurda 8110 shortsIMG_5215

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Fly Zipper & Patternmatching

Part of Neefer's adventure in Sewing
April '14

I wrote a good fly zipper tutorial!

Part of the point of this toile was to see how I liked putting different parts of the pattern in different places and to see how I did with pattern matching.

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Burda 8110

Part of Neefer's adventure in Sewing
April '14

I’m making another pair of shorts (Burda 8110) for houseboat fun. This pair is more of a fitting toile than a wearable pair (altho …). I’ve made the top and shorts before, but fitting pants/shorts is really difficult on one’s self.

Rene brought me back this fabric from Tanzania. This piece has several flaws in it. It’s a kanga piece.

The two images below are my shorts fronts. I experimented with the border placement. I like it a lot across the bottom. It’s interesting using it as the hip piece (the back of the pocket). I’m not sure if I like it. Fortunately, the print is so busy, I don’t have to worry about matching; the pocket on the right is almost invisible.


What does “chongeni sana mtajiju” mean?

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Part of Neefer's adventure in Family Stuff
April '14

Rob & the kids went to Yosemite and hiked to the top of Yosemite Falls.

Halfway to Top of Yosemite Falls

Top of Yosemite Falls

Top of Yosemite falls

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Compostela National High School

Part of Neefer's adventure in Sewing
April '14

My sewing girlfriends and I support one of my non-sewing girlfriend’s not-for-profit Reneal. The first school that Rene & Neal (non-sewing friends :)) supported is Compostela National High School (CNHS) in Cebu, Philippines. We donate fabric, notions, thread, patterns, trims, and sewing books.

Fw: Another use for the fabric

These are the science teachers at CNHS. They served as ushers for graduation. The sewing department (it probably has a better name than that) provided the usher uniforms from our fabric. Pretty cool, what?

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Rose Sketch

Part of Neefer's adventure in Crafts
April '14

rose flower

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Part of Neefer's adventure in Sewing
April '14

Voile, swimsuit fabric, mycra pac fabric

Loot from my BABES friends!
Voile, swimsuit fabric, and several cuts of mycra pac fabric.

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A sketch of Bruno

Part of Neefer's adventure in Crafts
April '14

I’m branching out from women. :)

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